Each February, film fans around the world turn their attention to the Academy Awards called "The Oscars." But this year is different. "The movies" we so love and cherish have given way to astonishing performances right here on our streets - free of charge! We've saturated ourselves with popcorn while watching entertaining "snowflake" routines since Election Day, and it only gets better.
Buy movie tickets? Why! We've got free entertainment! We've watched more liberal meltdowns on YouTube than movies. We get excited and well… forget the cinema! I'm staying home to watch the liberals!
This calls for an alternative award ceremony we like to call "The Libscars 2017 Awards" honoring the best performances in public lunacy, snowflake moments, meltdowns, and manipulative tantrums.
Interest and anticipation builds to a fevered pitch leading up to the Libscars 2017, as millions tune in to watch the protests against democracy, violence for peace, destruction for prosperity, and hatred for tolerance and the common good.
The ceremony is similar to the Oscars, with an award given for every category. Please add your nominees in the comments below (and other categories, in case we missed some).
- Best Celebrity Snowflake.
Nominees: Meryl Streep, Shia LaBeouf, Lady GaGa
- Best Supporting Celebrity Snowflake.
Nominees: Madonna, Ashley Judd
- Best Non-Celebrity Supporting Snowflake.
Nominees: The woman yelling 'Noooooo!' at the inauguration, with the following viral video to the Titanic theme, "My heart will go on," Lobster porn actress and NYU professor, Rebecca Goyette
- Best Male Drama Queen.
Nominees: Shia LaBeouffor hitting people while asking for tolerance, Sen. Chuck Schumer for crying on camera
- Best Female Drama Queen.
Nominees: Miley Cyrus for crying on camera, Ashley Judd for recital of 'Nasty Woman,' Lobster porn actress and NYU professor, Rebecca Goyette.
- Best Male Manipulative Snowflake Moment.
Nominees: man jumping into the traffic and crying, "kill me"
- Best Female Manipulative Snowflake Moment.
Nominees: triggered girl on YouTube threatening suicide
- Best Collective Manipulative Snowflake Moment.
Nominees: Black Bloc, Women's March, rioting Berkeley students, Shia LaBeouf's fans chanting "he will not divide us," "Hamilton" cast harassing Mike Pence.
- Best Costume Design.
Nominees: Vagina Costumes, American Flag as Burka, pussyhats, Lobster porn actress and NYU professor, Rebecca Goyette.
- Best Manipulative Cinematography & Film Editing.
Nominees: CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, BBC
- Best Counterintuitive Protest Sign.
Nominees: Love Trumps Hate, Make Texas Mexico Again, Refugees Welcome
- Best Visual Effects.
Nominees: 8am picture of Trump's inauguration passed as actual crowd count, Women's March coverage
- Best Snowflake Makeup and Hairstyling.
Nominees: Lobster porn actress and NYU professor, Rebecca Goyette, Mizzou media professor Melissa Click
- Best Snowflake Directing.
Nominees: Obama, Clinton, Soros, and their operatives organizing paid protests and town hall disruptions
- All the nominees, all those in attendance, and everyone watching the awards will have to be awarded a Libscar™ because, after all, everyone is just as exceptional as everyone else.
- The statue needs to be completely rethought; it looks too much like a man, and the sword is a triggering rape culture-centric phallic symbol.
Papa KalashnikookI don't see John Lewis nominated for anything. RACIST!!
And Obama (PBUH) was the only person of color to be nominated. #LibscarsSoWhite #NotMyLibscars
A PNG for you...
What is it about that woman? The Far Side glasses? Her enormous capacity for bare fisted hatred, which is written all over her face? I just want to reach through my computer screen and bitch slap the hell out of her.
So she is obeying her parents? Is this not an example of counterrevolutionary submission to the patriarchy? Fie upon her!
The People's Cube: Libscars 2017 - The Snowflake Oscars
Because in the past year we've seen more liberal meltdowns on YouTube than actual movies.
Quote:From our friends at the brilliant satirical site The People's Cube comes this special Oscars tribute - to all the snowflake actors whose meltdowns entertained us through the year...