Fargo Cop shoots unarmed cow, town braces for bovine riots


A resident of Cass County, ND, has warned the People's Cube of the rising tensions between the local community and the bovine population after a Cass County Sheriff's Deputy shot and killed an unarmed cow who allegedly attacked him and pushed the uniformed officer to the ground after he produced his credentials and read the Miranda rights.
Cow Dead After Attack on Cass County Sheriff's Deputy
While the details of the early morning incident in Interstate 94 west of Fargo still remain unclear, a PETA representative has flown from Washington, D.C., with a team of lawyers and forensic experts, demanding an independent autopsy.
The PETA team have met with leaders of the local bovine community, urging them to take urgent action and raise their voice against the signs of increasing police brutality in the seemingly sleepy rural area of North Dakota.
They also spoke to a few passing cows in the streets, interested in their opinions about the character of the slain member of their community and trying to reconstruct the tragic events - a procedure known in professional circles as "herd-sourcing."
PETA soon posted this hastily produced reenactment of the incident on its website, even though this version of events is not supported by forensic evidence and is disputed by the Sheriff's office and the family of the deputy, who is still being treated for alleged injuries that have never been life-threatening.
"We sure hope this place will not remain peaceful for much longer, as we are committed to bringing struggle for justice to these parts of America that for too long have avoided scrutiny," said the PETA spokesperson. "I mean, who shoots an unarmed cow at three in the morning? No justice, no peace!"
While some Cass County residents remain skeptical, others are battening down the hatches in preparation for bovine riots and looting and move to the opposite side of the street at the sight of an approaching cow, no longer trusting the animals with whom the community has lived side by side for so many generations.
Authorities are still trying to track down the surviving family members of the cow, though this hope is sadly fading fast.


By the way, is there any chance I can get a first


(crowd response) Don't Shoot!
Hooves up!
Don't Shoot!
(lather, rinse, repeat...)








Birth Control for Animals
Free Birth Control for all!


'It's about oppression': Area residents rally in support of Ferguson, Mo., protesters




"I'm sure it will look something like this, and a song."


Reichwing law enforcers in surplus military gear have now made obsolete the phrase "they can kill you but they can't eat you...". And what does the public show for support?
Not even a corned-beef hash-tag

“Avoid walking directly through a herd of cows if possible, but if you must walk through them, stay on the established hiker’s path. Calmly wave hiking poles towards cows resting on a trail and speak in a normal voice to encourage them to move out of your way. Keep calm and act as if you are not a threat.”
“If you detect an aggressive cow or a threatening group of cows, keep moving calmly and do not make direct eye contact. Keep your body facing the cow; do not turn your back to the animal or run.”
“Finally, walk in remote areas with a partner so that you may help each other out. If you encounter cows with a partner or as a group of hikers, stay together to project a larger presence, and make sure that you move together in the same careful, calm way that you would move if you were to encounter cows on your own.”
http://www.birdlife.org.au/documents/MW ... estock.pdf


And that's just what they'll do
These cows were made for walking, baby...
And one day they'll walk all over you
These cows will walk all over you


I would like to report a person to the People's Mistreatment of Persons Commission.


Oh, when will Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton intercede?








Fraulein Frankenfeinstein
I'M RETURNING MY BURGER TO BURGER KING. This abuse of animal kind must stop!! (chomp chomp) .... that was a fry, I promise. Why Comrade Fraulein, as I live and breathe! Your visage has been elsewhere for a long time. I can't say who has been collecting your rations in your absence, but the Commodore has gained a few pounds that don't look like they came from the galley of his flagship, and Betinov's jar has a lot of new fluid and a strange pile of empty bottles on his shelf. Just sayin'... Your judge-ship in these trying times is sorely needed. We have more names on the docket of new comrades and thought criminals than we have spare ammunition, so there is work to do! Nice to have you back.


Here in the Cold Blue State of Minnesota, where the state fair is currently in 'progress', the cows have never been more agitated!
Just look at how angry they are.
From deep in the Gulag,
T.C.


Red Square
Someone Tweeted us this glorious poster. A cow revolution is coming!"I'm sure it will look something like this, and a song."
Cow_Revolution.jpg
You mean this one, Comrade Red Square?


Ivan Betinov
Perhaps the boys down in AgitProp couldApparently some hate crimes are overlooked.



We interrupt this program for an important announcement from the Black/White House.
To the folks of Fargo. Even though the Fargo police acted stupidly, like a JV team. I want you to know. If I had a cow? It would look like Moochelle.