Diane Feinstein's recently released report on controversial CIA interrogation practices indicts, not only the Bush administration, but also all previous administrations going back to the controversialÂ leader of the Franks, Charles Martel, and his victory over the moderate Muslim community at Tours in 732 AD, which can only be described as a gross law enforcement misconduct and hate crime.
Citing inside information from medieval Latin and Arabic sources, the report prepared by Feinstein's staffers details a shocking degree of intolerance and Islamophobia on the part of Charles Martel's administration...
Prog porn is often the easy solution to dealing with life's problems, but remember that it often causes the very problems from which you're trying to escape and can be a difficult addiction to break.Â Quiz: Are You Addicted to Prog Porn?
- Do you spend more than 11 hours a week watching MSNBC?
- Does trolling on the Internet get in the way of your work or seeing friends and family?
- Do you ever choose to watch the Daily Show over hanging out with friends or family?
- How often do you imagine yourself being Barack Obama as a way of making yourself feel less depressed or bored?
- Do you ever feel like you should try to stop listening to NPR?...
Foreign fighters for the Islamic State have become desperate as their favorite devices slowly start giving way to theÂ effects of war.
ISIS has now run into a logistics problem, as much needed supplies such as iPod chargers, electric foot-warmers, DVD players, PlayStations, and blankies that their moms tuck them in with at night are now at major shortage levels.Â
Although the newly proclaimed Caliphate's goals are still to conquer the area surrounding Syria and Iraq, many new militants refuse to charge into battle, fearing the notorious 'dead zones'...
Around 6:30pm Tuesday evening (Dec. 2, 2014), our account on Twitter @ThePeoplesCube that has over 5,000 followers became disabled. Our inquiry resulted in the following discovery.
Remember Julie Bosman, the New York Times journalist, who on Nov. 24 published the location of Darren Wilson's home, welcoming visits by the rioters and the Black Panthers? Well, on Nov. 26 we responded by Tweeting her and her co-author's mobile and work phone numbers. Others have also published her home address. after which she reportedly received a few COD pizza deliveries.
Julie Bosman is now apparently contacting Twitter demanding to remove all instances of her personal information posted by others...
Last week Cliff Kincaid interviewed me via Skype for America's Survival channel onÂ Roku, and it is now also onÂ YouTube
. Most of it is improvised, combining new and old material. Had I known that the questions would be so much focused on the People's Cube, I would have used more props and given a better presentation of the site. Still, according to certain thoroughly objective, authoritative sources (Mrs. Red Square), the interview turned out well and is fairly watchable.
Peace on earth, Comrades!
Cliff Kincaid plugs the People's Cube in a press-conference at the National Press Club in D.C.:
"Now the story is that Edward Snowden used a Rubik's cube to identify himself to his journalistic collaborators, such as Glenn Greenwald, in Hong Kong, China. He should have used this one - this is the People's Cube. No matter which way you rotate it, it always comes up red. The reason I bring that up is, the developer of the People's Cube, Oleg Atbashian, who came from Ukraine, is responsible for the book covers you see before you. The latest, the forthcoming Blood on His Hands: the True Story of Edward Snowden
, and, of course, Back from the Dead: the Return of the Evil Empire
24 November 1944Â
-- Emerging from a joint strategy meeting, Generals Eisenhower and Zhukov addressed a press meeting and outlined their plans for bringing about a peaceful resolution to what had snowballed into a massive world war.
"My Russian counterpart and I realize the meaning of our spectacular victories at Stalingrad and Normandy," said Eisenhower. "It is that the message of the Allies must be one of willingness to reach out to Adolf Hitler and find a mutually agreeable solution to the war, and that can’t be done with all this partisan bickering about 'unconditional surrender',"; emphasized the general gesturing with air quotes.
"Let me be clear," demanded General Zhukov, "all talk of Axis surrender is off table! Maybe now we all get along...
Every Town, USA --
Â Everywhere across the nation Americans are growing increasingly repulsed and disgusted at the man who insists on barging into their lives demanding their ceaseless attention.Â
From Delaware to Dechutes, from Seattle to Cincinnati, from Portland to Portland everyone everywhere is reporting that the President of the United States suddenly appears in their homes, their workplaces, their streets, and their businesses demanding "Look at me! Look at me! Look at what I can do!" ...
I have already made a few posters and book covers for Cliff Kincaid'sÂ America's Survival, Inc. This time the subject is the true story of Edward Snowden, whose theft and publication of U.S. intelligence files has allowed both Putin's regime in Russia and the butchers of ISIS to avoid American surveillance and make brazen moves that resulted in thousands of dead bodies, both in the Middle East and Ukraine.
From the very start of the Ukrainian revolution Putin's propaganda has been making claims that the Maidan was staged and financed by the CIA and the U.S. State Department in order to hurt Russia. But if that were true, Snowden's archives would have revealed at least some proof of that. Instead, Russia used Jen Psaki's speech on YouTube and lame phone intercepts of the US ambassador, which prove nothing at all...
How do you make something more free and accessible? Why, more government regulation, of course. When government says they will regulate something, it always ends up being more accessible to all, with more freedom resulting, not less.
Net neutrality is one way to accomplish mandatory fairness, but on the internet. This topic has been on the back burner for years, but now President Obama is resurrecting the issue to confuse and divide conservatives (which we fully support.)Â
It's not fair when someone has more money to contribute to anything in life. The rich should not use more than their fair share of anything, including the internet. The Progressive Dictionary defines the "Rich" ...
Can it be true that Vladimir Lenin, the alleged "leader of the world Proletariat," whose monuments adorned central squares in every Soviet town and who inspired generations of Soviet citizens, had been a mere agent provocateur working for the German government?
In The World Crisis, Volume 5, Winston Churchill writes this about war-time Germany in 1917: "They turned upon Russia the most grisly of all weapons. They transported Lenin in a sealed truck like a plague bacillus from Switzerland into Russia."
The rest is history: Lenin staged a coup and withdrew Russia from World War One, conceding large swaths of land to Germany. In the process, he consolidated his power, initiated the policy of Red Terror, brutally exterminated all opposition, and founded the world's first totalitarian socialist state.
Democrats plead not guilty to kidnapping, holding America in their basement, and forcing her to do unspeakably bizarre, sick, twisted, and painful acts of grotesque deviancy for the Democrats' strange selfish personal pleasuring every which way all over their dirty basement den of domination for eight years.
The Democrats defense took a surprising turn to offense as their lawyers countered America's claim of innocence in her own rape. The Democrats have filed a counter suit against America claiming they, the Democrats, are the real victims.
"America was wearing a skimpy sexy outfit that she wore with the purposeful intent to provoke being kidnapped, held in a deviously devised basement torture chamber, and repeatedly raped all over said basement for eight long brutal bloodcurdling years of sick twisted political rape and unspeakable outrage."
If found not guilty Democrats vow to never kidnap and rape America again.
By Oleg Atbashian | First pubished in PJ Media
The artistic value of new Russian propaganda is way below its glorious Soviet predecessor, but the paranoid, attack-dog mentality remains the same.
According to Gazeta.ru, last Friday, at the "Flakon" art factory in Moscow, a pro-Putin group of nationalist youth called "Young Guard" together with the "patriotic artists and well-known graphic designers" organized an exhibition of over 100 political cartoons glorifying the policies of President Vladimir Putin and demonizing his opponents. The politically "correct" organizers must have been too dead-serious about their sycophancy to notice the grotesque irony of the event's title, "Without Filters."
Forget the filters. The exhibited artists had to be wearing blindfolds...
DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who is white, joined the list of Democrats dodging President Barack Obama, who is black, by not using his name when asked about the president's policies.
After repeated questions by host Joe Scarborough on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" about whether a vote for Democrats was a vote for the black president's policies, Wasserman Schultz, who is white, instead pivoted away from the president, who is black. "If you vote for Democrats, you are voting for white candidates who are focused on restoring white privilege by creating more opportunities for white people to succeed," said Wasserman Schultz, looking like the proverbial "blond beast" of the Aryan master race.
The hysteria over Ebola has gotten so out of hand lately, that President Obama was forced to cancel some golf and fundraisers to put out a fire irresponsibly set by the liars of Fox News and talk radio, whose shameless, pathetic fearmongering is nothing but straight up racism and a depraved, immoral desire to score cheap political points.Â
We've heard what's been said already by the Government in a seemingly vain attempt to calm unfounded fearsâ€”that to catch Ebola, you have to rub your nose in a pile of vomit or doo-doo left by an Ebola patient, then wipe away the mess with your bare fingers only to shove those fingers up your nose and then stick whatever you dig out into your mouth and swallow, taking great care not to spit out a single particle lest you infect someone else who might be tempted by the simple, innocent, uncontrollable urge to scoop it up and snort it up their own nose, etc.
President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order today, making November 4, 2014 a National Day of Quarantine for those Americans who are most at risk of contracting the Ebola virus.Â "You cannot get Ebola through casual contact like sitting next to someone on a bus," the President said in a press conference shortly after signing the Executive Order. "However you can catch it while waiting in line to vote." The Executive Order only applies to registered Republicans who are currently less likely to be receiving government provided healthcare and are therefore more susceptible to catching Ebola.
- Have you ever wanted to see what it feels like to have your body consumed by Ebola?Â
- Have you ever wanted to fly right to the source of a disease outbreak, so you can suffer alongside the Third World?Â
- Have you ever thought, "It's not fair that I don't have Ebola just because of my white privilege?"
If so, you're in luck! Don't wait another 21 days for Ebola to fully infect America. Fly to west Africa and pre-infect yourself, now!
The new FlipsideÂ episode #6Â is now online. I usually post these updates on our regularÂ Flipside topic, but this one is special. In this installment, The Flipside goes anti-Jihad with the guest Bosch Fawstin -Â author of PigmanÂ - as well as with Michael's excellent rant about O.J. Simpson's conversion to Islam, and some of our jokes, which the People's Cube kollektive may remember from our previous posts...
This Russian columnist claims that 'Ebola in America' is exaggerated to distract from real threats. Translated by Oleg Atbashian
Speaking at the United Nations, President Obama called Ebola a major threat to humanity. The second place in this Threat-to-Humanity Olympics went to President Putin, with the Islamic Caliphate taking the bronze.
I'm naturally offended that my Russia didn't finish first, but I'd rather talk about Ebola than about Putin...
It turns out, the Pentagon and the White House have hit a wall trying to come up with the most politically correct and inoffensive name for the operation against the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, which isn't a real war and isn't a real operation.Â "Operation No Boots" was rejected because it sort of implies that the US military have a shortage of footwear. "Operation Flip-Flops" was deemed too offensive to Sec. of State John Kerry. The Pentagon's idea of "Operation Limp Wrist" made Barack Obama squirm, and "Operation Enormous Fist"...
By Oleg Atbashian
First published inÂ FrontPage Mag
The launch of a new Center for Global Islamic Studies at the extremely liberal University of Florida in Gainesville may have been planned as a purely academic affair, but the announcements in the local and national media, includingÂ AP and Fox News, exhibited more than a purely academic interest in this event. To compare, one doesn't often see national media announcements about, let's say, a local center for the study of viruses - unless the virus is Ebola. And just like with any news about Ebola studies, any news about studies of Islam attract attention from the general public who want to know if there's a hope for the cure, containment, and safety from danger.
It is a progressive fact that any atrocity committed by a white American reveals the violent nature of America's racist conservative Christian culture, whereas any atrocity committed by an alleged Muslim from a minority community is always a one-off event, completely unrelated to his Islamic faith.
The media has, in the past, labeled such quasi-Muslim offenders as "lone wolves" who can't possibly represent their religious communities. But while trying to side-step offending one community, the media has inadvertently shunned another, previously little-known minority group of wolves who happen to be alone, and they have had enough.
A spokeswolf from the Council for Lupine-American Relations howled:Â "We lone wolves do not like being associated with criminal acts. Can't the media use phrases like, 'by themselves,' 'solo,' or 'separate'? Why do they have to bringÂ 'lone wolves'Â into it? Just because we don't prefer the company of other wolves, doesn't mean we don't have feelings...
A letter to the editor
This morning the one-channel people's radio on my tractor transmitted a songÂ "We Are The Champions."
Â I took a sip of my beet vodka ration, observed the weeds flourishing in our Progress Collective Farm, and wondered why this song's meaning had always escaped me. My co-pilot lay in the ditch, drunk, and I didn't feel like plowing the field by myself like some wretched bourgeois individualist. Why kill myself working while others are having so much fun?
As youÂ may have heard, there was a beheading in Oklahoma, and for some reason the whole country is freaking out. It's just a little blood, people! Sometimes, some of us will have to give our heads in order for Muslims to have the civil right to fully practice their religion.Â
There are more important things to be concerned with in the United States, such as the right of Muslims to practice Sharia law, and whether blacks are being gunned down in huge numbers by racist whites.
We are now officially part of a TV comedy show, The Flipside with Michael Loftus. Michael is an outstanding comedian and we are happy to be on his team. His excellentÂ rant on Global WarmingÂ from the second episode immediately went viral, includingÂ The BlazeÂ andÂ Fox News. The clip concludes with a short "Questions Without Answers" segment, which was our modest contribution. As you may have guessed, the show has a distinct conservative/libertarian angle.
The Flipside is available on many local cable and satellite channels...
Raising awareness, one drop at a time.
The ISIS Bucket Challenge:
a life-saving activity involving dumping buckets of piss on the heads of Western pacifists with "Coexist" bumper stickers to raise their awareness about them actually having those heads, at least until ISIS shows up and chops them off.
Due to aÂ $21 millionÂ shortfall in Collectivization goals for Colorado Oblast, the Colorado Regional Soviet has declared that all citizens under its jurisdiction are to immediately increase their consumption of State-sponsored marijuana products in order to meet the Party's plan for $33 million in taxes for the first six months of marijuana legalization.Â
Kulaks and those hoarding People's Dollars can expect a visit from the Oblast's Drug Enforcement Agency, which is tasked with enforcing consumption and checking each citizen's government-mandated supply...
There's an interesting background story behind these pictures.
On August 19 The Moscow Times reported about Russia's demand that Bulgaria try harder to prevent vandalism of Soviet-era monuments, after yet another monument to Soviet troops in Sofia was spray-painted.
The Russian Embassy in Bulgaria has issued a note demanding that its former Soviet-era ally clean up the monument in Sofia's Lozenets district, identify and punish those responsible, and take "exhaustive measures" to prevent similar attacks in the future... The vandalism was the latest in a series of similar recent incidents in Bulgaria - each drawing angry criticism from Moscow.
A three-step political fantasy to protect Americans and help Islam finally to become a religion of peace.
President Obama's White House statement on Aug. 28 was clear on two things: "ISIS must be defeated" and "we don't have a strategy yet."
With this in mind, let me offer a modest proposal that requires no military escalation, no additional defense spending, and no sacrifice of the American troops in the Middle East.
A resident of Cass County, ND, has warned the People's Cube of the rising tensions between the local community and the bovine population after a Cass County Sheriff's Deputy shot and killed an unarmed cow who allegedly attacked him and pushed the uniformed officer to the ground after he produced his credentials and read the Miranda rights. A PETA representative has flown from Washington, D.C., with a team of lawyers and forensic experts, demanding an independent autopsy.
I made this poster last month at the request of America's Survival, Inc. for aÂ conferenceÂ they organized on July 16, 2014 at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C.Â
The conference focused on the recent interview with Bill Ayers by Megyn Kelly, which is still being rerun at nights on Fox News. According to Cliff Kincaid, "The 'Kelly File' show amounted to rehabilitation of a communist terrorist and sets the stage for President Obama to issue pardons for Ayers' comrades still in prison." Unprepared and outmatched by a seasoned propagandist, Kelly provided the aging terrorist with a platform to spread his talking points, turning the interview into an audition for a TV show.
Here's an excerpt from theÂ conference report:It's really not a stretch to say that Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn are destined for their own show on Fox News, modeled after the Boris Badenov and Natasha characters from the Rocky and Bullwinkle.Â We thank Oleg Atbashian for his remarkable poster, getting the point across.
It's hard to say what was more daring: to risk a deadly fall during the stunt, or to deface the iconic Stalinist spire, which continues to symbolize Russia's imperial ambitions - and to raise the blue-and-yellow "enemy" flag over Moscow at a time ofÂ war, when all of Russia is seething with anti-Ukrainian anger as the official propaganda continues to whip the crowds into a supremacist frenzy by comparing its aggression against Ukraine with the "Great Patriotic War" against Nazi Germany.
Hatred of all things Ukrainian in today's Russia is universal - it extends from Ukrainian-made chocolates to Ukrainian music and Ukrainian people, who are now called by a newly invented ethnic slur "ukrop," which translates as "dill" - with the dehumanizing implication that Ukrainians are nothing more than vegetables destined to be chopped into salad.
This is a book cover I designed last month for Cliff Kincaid'sÂ new bookÂ written by him and three other authors. It's now onÂ Amazon.
I modeled it on an iconic Stalin-era poster, changing Stalin to Putin and adding a peeling tri-color flag of the new Russia. The bad Soviet paint that had been hastily brushed over the old flag in the 1990s is now falling off in big clumps, revealing the solid red USSR flag with the hammer and sickle.Â Putin is wearing a WWII-era St. Georgi ribbon on his chest, as do his murderous agents in the east of Ukraine today, falsely comparing their supremacist warfare on the independent Ukraine to WWII.
Since the old Evil Empire has now returned from its shallow grave, it is only appropriate that Putin would tower over a crowd of "undead" brainless followers. I had been tempted to sprinkle this gathering of zombies with the faces of modern Russian politicians and public figures, but they wouldn't be recognizable in America anyway. The only face I couldn't resist adding was that ofÂ Alexander Dugin
Â (the bearded ghoul on the right), whose monstrous theories of Nazi-like national-chauvinism are fueling Russia's modernÂ supremacist movement, which Putin is so cleverly exploiting.
The People's Cube pictures from various threads, May-August 2014.
For some time now, once in a few months, we have been sending out collections of The People's Cube images from various threads to our mailing list.
We just realized that we should have also been posting them on our pages. Better late than never.
There is a reason why the question below, from a Hong Kong elementary school test, is making the rounds on the internet. Most adults can't solve it â€“ not for want of math skills, but because most of them have lost the child's ability of unconventional thinking. Instead, they have acquired the debilitating unwillingness to try a different perspective.
The answer to the problem is provided at the bottom, but before you give up, here are some clues.
Both theÂ Washington Post
Â andÂ Huffington Post
Â have recently condemned the anti-Obama street art display near the U.S. Embassy in Moscow, which taunted Barack Obama on his birthday with racist references.
Interestingly enough, the same media organs, notorious for their unwavering support of this president, had neglected to cover a series of recent better-executed and more tasteful anti-Obama displays by American street artists inÂ Augusta,Â Santa Monica,Â Los Angeles, andÂ Silicon Valley.
Granted, the American anti-Obama artists didn't give the media an opportunity to cry "racism." Is that why the U.S.-based artists weren't deemed worthy of a story? In defense of the pro-Obama journalists, it's a lot harder to defend their protĂ©gĂ© when the charges are not race-related. The prank in Moscow, however, was a smorgasbord ofÂ monkeys, bananas, and dog whistles - everything the left-wing media requires to reinforce its own narrative: all criticism of Obama is based in racism. "They just hate him because he's black."
In a distasteful "up yours" gesture of aggression, South Korean capitalists have staged a hostile and unprovoked attack against peaceful communist North Korea, its caring leadership, and personally Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, by sending an array of menacing condom-shaped balloons over to the glorious workers' paradise of economic equality, equipped with unhealthy and fattening bourgeois chocolates dangling from the base of the phallic symbols to sweeten the deal.
It is a known fact that chocolate is a drug-like addictive substance, which is why the loving and compassionate North Korean...
Did Islam really build America?Â
It's a silly question to ask; of course we're a Muslim nation with a deep Islamic tradition - it should be enough that Barack Obama says Islam built America. But, as everybody knows, the history books were written by Islamophobes.
Many Americans, especially the notoriously ignorant home and private schooled types, actually believe our country was built on a Christian tradition. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A quick tour of American history should put the argument to rest once and for all.
Some time ago I began to receive newsletters with some clever content fromÂ Quora.com, which is sort of a forum for the intellectually curious. It became one of the few mass mailings that I rarely discard without first reading it.
Today's subject -Â The Ultimate Irony.* * *
Adam Smith is buried in a public cemetery in Edinburgh, Canongate Kirkyard.Â Karl Marx has a place of prominence in Highgate Cemetery in London. Smith's site is a bit unkempt and Marx's is pristine, bold and attracts tourists from all over.Â Smith's grave site is public - Marx's you have to pay to see.
Israel-Palestine Peace Process: The People's Cube Archives
Sarcastic Posters Meet Obama at Silicon Valley Fundraiser
By Oleg Atbashian | PJ Media
Imaginative satirical posters mocking president Obama appeared yesterday in various locations of Silicon Valley, where the president was scheduled to speak at yet another fundraiser with California's rich and powerful on Wednesday,Â in spite of all the troublesÂ piling up, domestically and internationally.
In addition to the posters, an "invitation" flyer was mailed to all neighbors within the half-mile radius of the host's home in Los Altos Hills. Describing the fundraiser as "A Feast in Time of Plague," the mock invitation pointed to the frightening gap between the increasingly entrenched political elites and the harsh reality of joblessness, insecurity, and loss of incomes for the rest of us.
Remember the 2012 bumper sticker based on Joe Biden's boast at the DNC? "GM is alive. Bin Laden is dead. Any questions?"
Actually, I do have a question. Was Bin Laden driving GM's Chevy Cobalt when he died?Â
It now appears that many American civilians with absolutely no connection to al-Qaeda have also become dead or injured while driving one of those small, fuel-efficient Chevrolet Cobalt, Pontiac G5, or Saturn Ion.
TheÂ Washington PostÂ reports: "An investigation into General Motors’ failure to recall millions of small cars containing a deadly ignition switch defect foundÂ a corporate culture in which employees failed to take responsibility for the problem
As the Sharks sang in "West Side Story," excusing their petty delinquencies to the neighborhood patrolman, back in the 50s, "We is depraved on account a' being deprived."
Here, ladies and gents, we have the updated phenomenon: Women in droves dying in the malls, bowling alleys, library stacks and Vegas parking lots because - let us all gasp together - they were unable to continue life as we know it without free concomitant abortifacients of convenience.
They're depressed. Defeated. And dying on account of being deprived.
We at Masterpiece Theatre take pride in having changed the meaning of "masterpiece" to a bit of wretched sitcom fluff steeped in legendary English history to be sold to our amply paid agents at American Public Broadcasting. And now we bring our act to an even higher level with a collection of Masterpiece Porno Shows, featuring the very masterful actors and actresses in our cunning exports.
Our very masterful masterpieces done by masters of masterful mastering present a covey of well-larded British oldsters freckling in the gardens of the very posh town houses in which we set our bathetic dramas...
The declaration of a Caliph state between the border of Syria and Iraq has raised some interesting parallels, bringing confusion to California Governor Jerry Brown's cabinet and resulting in an executive order that changed the official spelling of the state to "Caliphornia," and the title of the Golden State's Governor to "Caliph."Â
"We feel that we are all of one mind when it comes to state power and control," stated an anonymous source deep in Brown's cabinet...
Being President of the United States and Leader of the Free World is not only hard work, but a lot of work for just one person, even if he is that Healer of the Planet, Stopper of the Rising Oceans and The One We've Been Waiting For otherwise known as Barack Obama.
Take this very weekend, for example. In addition to hisÂ Father's Day speechÂ about how he had to grow up without a father, he's also traveling to North Dakota for a photo-op with Native Americans and another speech about how he really does care about them and wants to use his pen and phone to give them free stuff.
Hillary Clinton has served America for decades; in January 1993, she made history as she became the first co-president along with her husband, Bill.Â
After her tour in the White House ended, she answered the call from her adopted state of New York and voluntarily gave up a lucrative career trading cattle futures to act as one of only two US senators from that state.
In 2008, after tirelessly devoting herself to helping Barack Obama become America's best president, she looked forward to retiring to a quiet life in a small cottage somewhere. Once again her country called, pleading with her to act as Secretary of State because President Obama, who would've been better than anybody at the job, was simply too busy to do it himself.
As if cheers and glorification that Bowe Bergdahl received from the White House, as well as from ESPN, MSNBC, and other media outlets were not enough, the returning POW has just come out of the closet as a gay Muslim, giving his fans yet another reason to celebrate his courage and heroism.Â
Shortly afterwards, Bergdahl received a congratulatory call from the U.S. President, who offered him the position of Secretary of Defense, a nomination he was sure to pass the Senate...
Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel was unexpectedly run over by a bus in Washington, DC today as he was reaching for a buck President Obama was trying to pass him.
No word on whether the Secretary was injured or not, as journalists are having trouble extracting him from the pile of other individuals caught under the same bus.
"The wheels of the bus go round and round," one rescuer said. "It's difficult to get close to the vehicle because you're afraid of getting hit by a spinning wheel yourself."
I researched the phenomena of cow tipping and found absolutely no evidence of it anywhere, even in areas inhabited by right-leaning, meat-eating animal-haters (whom one would naturally suspect of hating animals because they eat them). This article confirms my research: Cow Tipping: Fake or Really Fake?
On the other hand, I found empirical evidence in the tipping of so-called "Smart Cars" in San Francisco:More Smart Cars Tipped in Overnight Pranks in San Francisco's Twin Peaks, Cole Valley
This week Capital One has established a new unilateral partnership with the People's Cube, with the purpose of creating catchy and spectacular advertising materials. The first rule in such a unilateral partnership is that one partner doesn't let the other partner know anything about it. The second rule is that the other partner doesn't get any of the proceeds from the resulting revenues.
In practical terms that means that Capital One produces their ads based on the People's Cube material, and we at the People's Cube find out about it on Facebook from an alert reader who sends us aÂ link...
On the heels of his widely-praised exchange of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl for five captured Taliban commanders, which Democratic strategists are comparing to trading General George Patton for five taxi drivers, President Obama went them one better and swapped all remaining Guantanamo detainees for a bag of magic beans.
In announcing the trade, Secretary of State John Kerry stated, "President Obama has unloaded hundreds of unskilled laborers and taxi drivers whom we already have enough of, and transported them from Gitmo to Afghanistan where they will be more likely to find jobs that fit their training and aspirations, like driving a cab, or follow their dream of being an artist or a poet."Â
Galactic News, Stardate -308582:
Today the Justice Department, along with the Commerce, Transportation, Treasury, and various other alphabetical departments have announced the approval of the biggest merger in history:Â of the Andromeda Galaxy and our own Milky Way.
"This has been in the works since the early days of Obama's presidency," said Ivana Suyu, Justice Department spokeswoman. "Although the merger will not happen for two billion years, we wanted to have everything in order and ensure that there is fairness for our galaxy," she added.
Considering the number of issues involved, approval of the merger required intense participation of just about every department in Washington. Wormhole connections, dimensional gateways, hyperspace lanes, smuggling routes and other related items...
In a touching tribute to the recently deceased celebrated poet, Maya Angelou, president Barack Obama didn't spare elevated epithets, praising her as "the Barack Obama of poetry" and taking a few ceremonial selfies with his cell phone, having the poet's portrait as the backdrop.
The portrait behind Barack Obama features the politically correct depiction of Maya Angelou, his staunchest ally and advocate, holding the first black president in her arms like her beloved child, with the symbolic representation of a "fundamentally transformed" America in the background.
After the recent revelation of long wait times and delays in care at VA hospitals shocked the nation, congressional Democrats from both houses and independent journalists undertook their own investigation to determine the cause of the problem.
What they found was shocking: evidence of a coordinated conspiracy among numerous ill veterans to avoid seeking medical care and blame their subsequent problems on President Obama.
Experts in the world's only settled science were shocked as dramatic new evidence has emerged that climate change is much worse than even the most dire forecasts had predicted.
As President Obama visited the US Military Academy at West Point to give a commencement address, his speech received what a state-approved CNN journalist termed an "icy reception."
This followed a bizarre incident where the wildly-popular president received "tepid applause and a short standing ovation from less than one-quarter of the audience upon his introduction," according to stunned credentialed journalists who witnessed the surrealistic scene.
President Obama told a press conference today that he is "madder than hell" and "no one is angrier than I am" after a routine test of new $100 billion software intended to allow him to play computer-simulated golf rounds accidentally triggered World War III.
The president told the assembled journalists he only found out about the war while watching the news on TV. The inadvertent conflict is expected to kill upwards of one billion people.
Experts in the world's only settled science are up in arms today as a blunder committed by a staunch ally threatens their efforts to raise taxes and save the planet.
On a recent visit to Washington DC, French foreign minister Laurent Fabius told President Obama and Secretary of Climate John Kerry, "we have 500 days to avoid climate chaos." The remarks came less than a week after the White House released its 829 page National Climate Assessment which introduced the term "climate disruption."
In an effort to cooperate with Republican calls to investigate the events leading up to the attack on Benghazi, House Democrats on Thursday took the unusual step of going straight to the source of the controversy.
"Only one person can answer all their questions," explained Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, "and though he has passed on, Ambassador Stevens can still be summoned from the beyond, and this is what we did."
Though the press is rarely present at such Democratic Party events, this one warranted extensive media coverage. The invited journalists and bloggers were asked to stay behind the roped-off area in complete silence, as high-ranking House Democrats sat at a large round table holding hands, with the striking Mme. Blavatsky at its head...
Just when we thought the rash of Scandinavian youths knocking out poor minorities couldn't get any worse, it turns out that white men are now knocking off innocent homeowners. How do we know this? Commercials.Â
Commercials tend to reflect the state of affairs in customers' lives. That's why it's noteworthy that alarm companies are using the marketing angle of "White man breaks in home to scare family."Â Here is a list of the villains from some of the top alarm company commercials on Youtube.
It has come to my attention that #hastagdiplomacy is being actively ridiculed and parodied by right wing, knuckle-dragging, Busheois TEA Party Neanderthals. Well, this time the joke's on them.
That's right, #hashtagdiplomacy has a proud history in America and it gets results. For example, this picture of General MacArthur looking concerned after being ordered to leave the Philippines was crucial in pushing the Japanese out of their conquered Pacific territories.
In fact, Emperor Hirohito later said that he was so moved by the picture he couldn't bear to allow Hideki Tojo to prosecute a war against a people who showed such sensitivity and caring.Â
"This hashtag sign plus the deployment of two colorful awareness ribbons in August of 1945 convinced me it was time not only to surrender, but to publicly deny my divinity," said the former emperor in an interview in 1988.
President Obama today became the first to achieve a milestone coveted by enlightened central planners everywhere, as the Bureau of Laborious Statistics announced the much-followed meaningless headline: "U3 unemployment rate for last month was ZERO PERCENT," which clearly implies that the glorious economic recovery he engineered after the disastrous Bush years has now resulted in full employment.
While some ignorant people today made much ado about the nothing engendered in the Vatican's redundant elevation of two dead old white males into so-called "sainthood," reasonable people are asking a more important question: "Why was Barack Obama ignored?"
"It is obviously blatant racism," said a non-white hispanic writer for the intellectually impressive New York Times. "After all," he added with less outrage than we had expected, "Obama won a NOBEL PRIZE FOR CHRISSAKES! If THAT doesn't qualify him for sainthood, what the hell does?"
London-basedÂ Philosophy NowÂ magazine has published two of our "Political Brains" cartoons in this year's March/April issue, as an illustration to their book review ofÂ The Righteous Mind
Â by the American psychologist, Jonathan Haidt.
The magazine had contacted me in January for permission, which I happily granted. In April I received a package from London, with two hard copies of the magazine and a letter below.
In addition to crediting the author and the website, the editors went as far as actually inviting their readers to visit ThePeoplesCube.com.
It would seem that their appreciation of our materials is not coincidental. The magazine itself makes a very entertaining read, discussing the philosophical differences between conservatives and progressives, Ayn Rand and Kant, and runs a parody of Plato's dialogues with Socrates, in which the two ancient philosophers discuss modern-day conservatism and progressivism.
As soon as theÂ photograph of Soviet propaganda postersÂ in Jay Carney's kitchen hit the Internet, right-wing pundits began to draw conclusions about White House Press Secretary's ideology, morals, and political leanings. It was as if things that a man merely places on his walls and looks at day after day can be any indication of his life choices.
If that were so, the meals in Carney's kitchen would also probably match the menu of the place and time of the posters. His family would be living on a diet of beets, gruel, occasional rat, and thinly sliced boiled jackboots, which is what many Soviets ate at the time these posters were produced.Â
Last week's Masters Golf tournament in Augusta, GA was marked by a plethora of anti-Obama posters, making fun of Obama's golf presidency with clever captions like "Sub Par" and "If you like your handicap, you can keep your handicap."
We have already written about this type ofÂ conservative counter-cultureÂ in February, when dozens of posters of golfing Obama captioned "Sub Par" had been spotted inside and outside the PGA's golf tournament near the upscale and liberal Riviera Country Club in Los Angeles.
The same mysterious artist, apparently, is determined to travel from one golf tournament to another, challenging the rich and connected Obama supporters who shell out thousands of dollars for the tickets, and urging them to take a better look at Barack Obama's disastrous presidency in a symbolic language they can understand.
Many of you have seen the recently surfaced photograph of White House Press Secretary Jay Carney's kitchen decorated with two Soviet propaganda posters. And now we can finally take a closer look at the mysterious artwork.
In case anyone wants to follow Jay Carney's example and hang them around their own kitchen, below are the larger, individual versions.
This just in: Mozilla has launched a new browser called BackFireFox. But seriously, folks, what's the firing of some Mozilla CEO with old-fashioned views on marriage compared to the potential advancements in technology the progressive Mozilla team can unleash once it's been liberated from this guy's heteronormative oppression?
Here is just a small sampling of new Mozilla plug-ins, extensions, and themes...
A radio talk show hostÂ Joe Pags
Â has modified Eric Clapton's "Cocaine," and I couldn't help but illustrate it.
The world says get out. But, Putin says.. no doubt, Ukraine.Â
Obama frowns, but Putin’s getting down in Ukraine.Â
He don't buy, or stand by, or say why; Ukraine.
Obama talked tough but, Putin called his bluff Ukraine.Â
When the day is done Putin won; Ukraine.Â
BO lied by the side watch Vlad ride â€“ in Ukraine.
Long live the nine-year anniversary of unstoppable and coercive redistribution of the Current Truthâ„˘ to American workers, peasants, and unwashed intelligentsia!
For this year'sÂ officialÂ report, please readÂ last year's official reportÂ and multiply all the numbers by nine.
It should also be emphasized that "nine years" is only the age of this glorious Party Organ. The People's Cube as a concept, however, is eternal; it has existed since the very dawn of civilization and will persevere for as long as there are dreams of Utopia, progressive agitators, and monkey brains.
What if the answer to world peace is not, in fact, global redistribution of wealth, but global redistribution of hair follicles? Granted, this theory isn't any better or worse than all the other unproven theories that are guiding today's world politics, but this is exactly why we should give it a try.
According to my calculations, all wars will end as soon as world leaders begin to trade haircuts in the name of fairness and follicle equality for all.
Wait till the Russian media discovers the power of the race card and comes up with the headline, "Putin was born a poor black child." How can you fight that? With equal redistribution of hair follicles, how can anyone tell who's got the moral high ground?
Speaking to a group of awestruck Chinese citizens, Michelle ObamaÂ recounted her years of oppression as a victim of racismÂ and how she survived the American extermination camps.Â
"There were laws in America that discriminated against people like me because of the color of our skin," said Michelle. A sharp inward gasp was heard as the interpreter finished her comment in Mandarin.
Still haunted by laws that were no longer in effect when she was born, Michelle outlined her plight as she endured racism in Princeton University, and narrowly escaped death at Harvard Law School. Tears were seen streaming down the cheeks of some of the visibly moved Chinese citizens.Â
Women in her audience especially were deeply touched as the First Lady revealed how she had to live paycheck to paycheck as a hospital administrator with a meager six digit income. "Sometimes we had to say no to caviar, or no to a really expensive Italian sports car because we just couldn't afford it," Michelle Obama recalled, her voice breaking, as one Chinese woman fainted and another one began sobbing uncontrollably.
In order to help toughen President Obama's image on the international arena, the White House released photographs of a shirtless, muscular U.S. President engaged in various manly activities, such as, playing golf, riding a bicycle, throwing a baseball, and negotiating with Vladimir Putin, who seems dismayed by the U.S. President's superior physique.
The White House stated that previously released pictures of shirtless Vladimir Putin are no match to the new masculine image projected by Barack Obama in these photos, which until now had been kept from the public due to the U.S. President's famously humble disposition.
As a high-ranking Party member, I was proud to place the Don't Tread On My Obamacare bumpersticker on the back of my hybrid Pinkiemobile. I'm always proud to stand up in defense of my government entitlements and all that my government does for me! But then something horrible happened as I drove downtown to pick up my government check. I glanced up from my texting to see a Prius with a Coexist bumpersticker passing me. All of its occupants gave me the finger and cussed me out!
Our report for PJ Media
Did the Russian intelligence promote Obama from lieutenant to colonel?
By Oleg Atbashian
"I wonder, after the successful campaign of handing over the Crimea, will Barack be promoted to a colonel?" That was the questionÂ Tweeted yesterdayÂ by the newly elected Prime Minister of Crimea, Sergey Aksyonov, shortly after the Russian-speaking residents of the disputed peninsula voted to leave Ukraine with the prospects of joining the Motherland. The Russian-language Tweet was accompanied by a Photoshopped picture of Barack Obama wearing a Russian uniform.
The Huffington Post, which first reported on this Tweet, quickly replaced it with a different article about Aksyonov - possibly after a scathing call from the White House...
The official ceremony in which Hillary Clinton presented Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with a pretty plastic "Reset" button that had a mistranslated Russian word "peregruzka" was the first act of the "new and improved" foreign policy of the Obama administration. It happened almost exactly five years ago, in March of 2009, during Hillary's visit to Moscow. We covered this event twice:How Do You Say 'Hillary's Gaffe' in Russian?
Middle Finger to Obama On Russian TV Is Not What It Seems
A lot happened since the "improved" foreign policy took effect, backed by the Nobel Peace Prize. During these five years, glorious improvements have been popping up, almost spontaneously, all over the map - North Korea, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, Honduras, Venezuela, Egypt, Libya, Syria, and now Russia...
The full story of a deadly clash in the Ukrainian city of Donetsk explaining who, what, where, when, and most importantly, why.My report for PJ Media, with photos and videos.
If you want to know the back story of the recent Ukrainian revolution, The Soviet Story
tells exactly what happened to Ukraine during the Soviet era - and a lot more.
It's the best educational film on the nature of communism, which should be shown to all high school students in America to immunize them against the lure of the "great" utopia.
Marking the third anniversary of Obamacare's passage, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.)Â saidÂ the health care law fulfills the promises of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness by liberating workers from their place of employment and allowing them to pursue careers in the arts. "And just think that you could be a photographer or writer," Pelosi said.
Pelosi often has praised Obamacare in this way, saying it enables Americans to quit their jobs and become artists.
Since this is an interview with me, I'm reposting it with minor corrections in the parts where I'm quoted directly, in order to clarify my points better. Had I used the teleprompter during the interview, I could have just said, "Let me be clear!" and all my points would have been sorted and clarified automatically. Unfortunately, that day my teleprompter was at the corner shop with some ignition and radiator problems, hence the necessary edits.
Also, since the interview touches on my "young adult" years as an agitprop artist, I'd rather use a picture from those days instead of the more recent ones they used.
FORMER SOVIET PROPAGANDA ARTIST SEES ECHOES OF COLD WAR IN UKRAINE DEBATE
In a devastating counterpunch to all deniers and non-believers, North Korea's supreme leader Kim Jong Un has won an unparalleled victory today, being re-elected with 100% votes and 100% turnout, which gives him an undisputed mandate to fundamentally transform his country into an even more democratic people's republic.
In the United States, the Democratic Party leadership, its party organs, and the Obama-voting precincts all around America are congratulating North Korea today on achieving the same results as they did in 2012 presidential election of Dear Leader with 100% vote and 100% turnout, accompanied by assurances of international solidarity of all voters worldwide.
This finally clarifies what the phrase "We are the 99%" really means. But that was last year. Today, being 99% is no longer an option - we must eliminate the remaining 1% and become the 100% - like in North Korea!
Now also on T-shirst!
Vladimir Putin's recent intervention in Ukraine on the pretext of defending the ethnic Russian population has forced other former Soviet republics to look for ingenious ways to protect their own sovereignties from similar moves.
On Monday, the Parliament of Kazakhstan, with a 25% ethnic Russian population, voted to rename the country 'New Illinois,' hoping to attract more American support for their territorial integrity. Kazakhstan's President, Nursultan Nazarbayev, is expected to sign the emergency bill into law by Wednesday, setting in motion a complex process for the Central Asian nation of almost 18 million people.
Following up on last year's International Woman's Day breaking story about theÂ ban on female flatulence in Indonesia, we have interviewed a local female flatulence expert, Fartima Passagasiya, to see how that particular government regulation has benefitted women and minorities one year later.
"The ruling prohibiting women from farting loudly in public places has certainly boosted our overall modesty and attractiveness," says Fartima, who also runs the local branch of eSharia.com.
Vladimir Putin, tired of being labeled as a "bully" by media left and right, held a press conference in the Kremlin earlier today, offering a completely new angle to his case for the seizure of the Crimean Peninsula and the possible invasion of Ukraine: the presence of a Tea Party element at the Maidan in Kiev.Â
"The Ukrainian nationalists have historically been a grave threat to peace in Eastern Europe, indeed, the whole planet and possibly the solar system," the Russian President said through an interpreter.
Cliff Kincaid of America's Survival interviewed me last night about the revolution in Ukraine, the People's Cube, Putin, Obama, and more.
Putin's anti-American and anti-Semitic propaganda gives the Ukrainian protesters the Tea Party treatment and sets up the US foreign policy for a defeat. Unfortunately, some in the American right-wing media fall for the Kremlin's paranoid narrative and regurgitate it to their readers and listeners.
FROM OUR ARCHIVES:
Did you know that the boy whom Putin once kissed learned to fly? Or that Putin can browse the Internet with an abacus? Or that on his birthday critics drop dead from thinking bad thoughts about Putin?
Each year spent in the Kremlin makes the Motherland's President stronger, endowing him with more superpowers unbeknownst to man. For years, Party-approved rumors about Putin's supernatural abilities have been spreading over the internet in the Mother tongue. To translate them into the language of soulless capitalist oppressors is an idea whose time has come!
â€˘ Putin on the Ritz
â€˘ Itâ€™s Ukrainian Men
â€˘ Whatâ€™s Kiev Got To Do With It?
â€˘ Have You Ever Seen Ukraine?
â€˘ I Just Called to Say it's 3AM
â€˘ Singinâ€™ in Ukraine
â€˘ Brand New Kiev
â€˘ Blame It On Ukraine
â€˘ Barack in the USSR
â€˘ Ukraine Drops Putin on My Head
â€˘ Whoâ€™ll Stop Ukraine?
â€˘ On the seventh day God rested; Obama rested for the other six;
â€˘ God commanded not to covet thy neighbor's property; Obama commands to covet and redistribute it, too;
â€˘ God told Mary she was blessed with a child; Obama said she was punished with a baby;
â€˘ God banished Lucifer; Obama's mentor dedicated a book to him.
Despite severe weather conditions, the plan to topple Lenin statues in Ukraine has been successfully completed this month, ahead of schedule. The government of the former Soviet republic is happy to report that the quota of toppling monuments to Vladimir Lenin and other communist leaders has been met and in some places exceeded, with toppling of a number of unrelated statues in the process.Â
Although many critics warned that the goal was unrealistic and even mathematically impossible, the toppling of statues of the creator of the world's largest planned economy went ahead as scheduled, paced over the course of several Five-Year Plans...
The prospect of the art world rebelling against the leftist establishment frightens the Left more than the Republican Party ever will.
A bunch of hip, younger artists amusing themselves by blasting leftist icons may start a trend that will turn out to be more consequential than all the costly election strategies devised by well-paid GOP consultants in Washington. Because, as Breitbart frequently said, politics is downstream of culture.
Today's truly rebellious, free-thinking, edgy and cool, counter-culture anti-establishment movement is entirely on the right of the political spectrum.
Right is cool. Liberty is cool. Independence is cool. If your young heart desires idealism and adventure, sabotage the oppressive leftist establishment! If you want to hang out with free thinkers and non-conformists, join the Tea Party!
Contrary to the old man Marx, not everything happens by historical necessity; there's also the matter of free will. This is where the anti-Obama activist artists come in and seize the moment.
Dating a dictator can be a scary and dangerous endeavor. But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken. Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures. Do not jeopardize your livelihood for a night out having fun. By observing the following tips, you can still have a great time and live.
And don't forget our other Valentine classics:
In today's extraordinary events, Betty-Mae Ferguson made history by winning gold for the United States for the first time in the women's biathlon, as well as breaking up what turned out to be an ill-timed terror attack when Chechen rebels opened fire on the venue.Betty-Mae:
Oh, yeah. Let me tell yew, I never been so mad in all my life as when I was gettin' ready to hit five for five, and just then they started shootin' all over the place. One of 'em had a RPK, just like Daddy uses fer dear huntin', and he hit the stock on my rifle and messed up my fourth shot! I didn't practice fer six years just to lose to somethin' like that, and I had one round left in the magazine, and there was no question in my mind where it was goin'. Now he had the firepower, that's fer sure, so I knew I had to make it count. Anyway, I took him out, and serve him right, too.
Last week Samantha Power, who once discussed invading Israel and now serves as Obama's Ambassador to the United Nations, decided to use the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz by the Red Army toÂ link it to the Syrian Civil War:Â "In 1945, Russian soldiers liberated Auschwitz. Sixty-nine year later, if the United Nations is to live up to the noble purposes for which it was founded, the world again needs Russia to use its influence."
The theme of being liberated by communist forces is apparently also hauntingÂ The New York Times writers:Â "The Congressional Budget Office estimated on Tuesday that the Affordable Care Act will reduce the number of full-time workers by 2.5 million over the next decade. That is mostly a good thing, a liberating result of the law."
Rejoice, comrades! The Red Army has finally come to liberate you from the shackles of capitalist employment! The ACA, erroneously known as Obamacare, but recognized by the Party as the Affordable Communism Act, is only a tool - a weapon, if you will - a fiery sword in the mighty hands of the Red Army warrior.
Today, the Huffington Post tied The People's Cube to the Koch Brothers. As a result, there is now a Thepeoplescube category on the HuffPost website.Koch Brothers Group Turns Obama Into Stalin In Facebook Ad
This was written by an utterly misguided Huff Post apparatchik, who seems to have learned of it from a post byÂ Talking Point Memo, whose thoroughly confused author had mistaken our Party-approved, Obama-praising poster for an advertisement manufactured by the Koch Brothers, and decided that this product of his ignorance deserved to be a "news" story.
When a young illustrator from Moscow, Andrei Tarusov, decided to picture how the Winter Olympics might have looked in the old USSR if the erstwhile Soviet government hadn't been so zealous in suppressing the sexuality of its citizens, he let his imagination run wild.
The result was an off-the-wall calendar that creatively combined Soviet propaganda poster art with vintage American pin-ups: scantily clad retro-babes in classic pin-up poses but with Soviet enthusiastic fire in their eyes, engaging in winter sports with athletic equipment from the 1940s and 1950s. The pictures were accompanied by rhymed slogans, written by the artist's friend in the traditional propagandistic style with a new, ironic twist.
Tarusov contacted the Olympic Committee hoping it would sponsor his project in promoting the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. Whether the Committee was protecting its reputation or it feared attacks from feminist groups, the answer was definitive "nyet.
In cold years like these, climate change deniers always ask a trick question, "How come global warming can cause both heating and cooling?" The answer is actually quite simple.
We all know that sometimes it's hot as Hell*, and sometimes it's cold as Hell. Clearly, Hell can make it hotter or colder. The science is settled on the fact that global warming will be Hell on Earth, and since Hell can make it hotter or colder, global warming can, therefore, also make it hotter or colder.
Let's go one step further. Things can also boring as Hell, as in "nothing's happening, it's the same old same-old...
In separate interviews with civil rights icons Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, both men called on President Obama to apologize for his "overtly racist" comments inÂ criticizing Rush Limbaugh and FOX News. "It's like we get the first African-American president," stated Jesse Jackson," and he goes out spewing all this racist hatred about white people who disagree with him. It's like Selma all over again." Al Sharpton couldn't agree more. "We were looking forward to 'getting there' someday, and he throws it all away with hateful racist comments critical of Rush Limbaugh only 'cause he's white. Is this what it means to 'get there?'"
Are you typically lost when co-workers discuss current events around the water cooler? Do you have trouble figuring out the national debt or who that Ben Ghazi dude is, but you know exactly what's on Britney Spears' grocery list?
If you think you only deserve fun answers to all life's questions, you may just be a low information voter...
Comrades, our beloved First Lady's 50th birthday is today, or tomorrow, or some time this weekend. But whenever it is, we can make every day her birthday by doing the exact same stuff she does!
I present for your consideration the following link from ABC News. It includes a list of 50 things you can do to get in touch with your inner Moochelle, from traveling the world on Air Force One to working out "yours arms."
But we needn't limit ourselves to 50. How many other ways can we honor the greatest First Lady to ever grace humanity by pretending to do what she does? I'll even get things started...
Given that presidential hopefuls are already gearing up for 2016 election, we'd like to remind you to vote for Vladimir Putin in the Democratic primaries. Any way you look at it,Â Putin is still cooler than Obama and more experienced than Hillary
To this effect, we collected, edited, and formatted different versions of pictorial Putin-Obama comparisons that are being circulated on the Internet, bringing them to one easily accessible infographic.
Earlier media reports that President Obama executed his half-uncle Onyango Obama by feeding him to hungry dogs are probably not true, a new report says.
The original story, which grotesquely claimed that Barack Obama's half-uncle and half-aunt,Â Onyango (Omar) ObamaÂ andÂ Zeituni "Auntie" Onyango, had been thrown into a cage and eaten by a pack of ravenous hounds, first appeared inÂ The Pyongyang Times, a North Korean tabloid circulated in hotel lobbies, airports, and other places frequented by foreigners.
The Pyongyang Times editorial stated that Barack Obama was getting increasingly frustrated with his two feckless relatives, who lived in the U.S. illegally, didn't pay taxes, sponged off America's housing, healthcare and welfare systems under multiple names, incessantly complained, got arrested repeatedly, and caused all kinds of trouble, thus tarnishing his otherwise impeccable reputation and stellar political career, which was why Obama decided to feed them to the dogs...
Conversations between my shoulder angel and my shoulder devil often turn into heated arguments, at which point I have to interfere and break up the fight. The angel represents conscience; it usually sits or hovers near the right shoulder. The devil represents temptation and sits on the left because (I looked it up in Wikipedia) theÂ left side traditionally represents dishonesty or impurity.
As if that weren't enough, my shoulder angel and devil have recently begun to speak with the voices of American presidents...
Our Dyke Dynasty picture was becoming viral on Facebook when some caring and sensitive citizen reported it to management. As a result, the picture was removed from the People's Cube page and the People's Album because it violatedÂ FB Community Standards.
In addition, The People's Cube was blocked from posting on Facebook for the next 12 hours.
So what standard did the image violate?...
Help advance the totalitarian superstate in your spare time with our new TCP Utopia City Construction Kitsâ„˘. The Ministry of Truth will provide updates as new kits become available. Watch Utopia City grow and spread throughout your hovel as weeks, then months of construction help guide all family units down the path to a Glorious Next Tuesdayâ„˘.
Begin your adventure with the 854 piece "Police State Kit" shown below. Build Utopia City's first thought police headquarters and stem the rising tide of thoughtcrime. Learn and practice doublethink as you help O'Brien re-educate unpersons in Room 101...
Follow the lives of elitist schmucks and dykes as they regulate successful U.S. companies into oblivion and foster tolerance by making you shut your big fat American pie hole.
- Y2K finally kicks in, is blamed for healthcare.gov glitches
- Rhetoric reaches tipping point, grows exponentially, hits wall, goes over cliff, crashes and burns
- Government worker discovers untapped debt hidden in Capitol's debt ceiling
- More climate data lost due to a growing number and intensity of memory holes
- To raise revenue, government begins charging for formerly free speech
- Earth's magnetic field reverses, the South rises again
What was once a prosecutable hate crime for Republicans has become an act of Compassionâ„˘ and Caringâ„˘ by the forward-looking Democrats. Republicans, at least a few of them, wanted to close the borders of America to keep undocumented voters locked up in the south, and deny Canadians access to affordable health care in the north. But now that incandescent light bulbs are as illegal as lemonade stands in all 57-61 states, the borders must be secured to prevent black market light bulbs, or black lights, from entering the country through our large and porous borders.